Damn Dishes! (Pardon my damn French)

I don't take it back, that's really how I feel about it. 

Once again I find myself wearing my favorite "Ignore it" goggles. (You know, the ones that make everything I SHOULD be doing invisible so that I can do the things I SHOULDN'T be doing instead) Don't get me wrong, I take cleaning VERY seriously... on the rare occasion that I actually do it. But for some reason when the dishes get so high that they start spilling out of the sink and onto either side of the counter it becomes a task that is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE. (And if you think I'm using the CAPS LOCK a little freely maybe you don't really understand how CAPS LOCK I feel about those STUPID dishes) I'm starting to consider seriously the repercussions of throwing them all away and just buying new ones...

I just want to sit comfortably on my cushy couch (ignore skillfully the cracker crumbs from the kids snack which the ants seem to have discovered), eat tasty pastries with names like "Cheese Danish" and "Cherry Tart", watch some dreamy blue eyed, blond haired, make me giggle he's so hot "Mentalist" and pretend that the kids aren't fighting in the other room. I don't really think I'm asking so much.

I'm a flexible person though, so I would also settle for a maid/chef/babysitter/mentalist.

So... maybe I'm not that flexible.

"I wonder, I wonder..."

Listening to the husband sing sleeping beauty to Sofia when she is sick...

BEST. MOMENT. EVER.

My Beautiful Girls

From here on out...

Henceforth I shall judge no one who has a maid. In fact I envy you! I think about you as I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing arduously at the soap scum in my shower, I marvel at your financial savvy to have worked one into your budget. I want one!!!! Thats right. I said it! And why should I be ashamed of it?

SOMEONE TO DO YOUR CLEANING FOR YOU!!!!! When you really sit down and think about it, Its kind of stupid NOT to have one.

Don't want to clean your own grime and filth? HIRE A MAID!!! (They have those you know)

Seriously?

Stumbled across this little gem the other day, it was labeled "Corset Distortion"

The things we do...

My Boy...

Alright, so you may or may not be wondering why he is only holding on with two fingers. The reason is this: Unbeknown to me, roughly about four years ago I gave birth to a Dinosaur. Not just any Dinosaur (though it changes depending on the day) but a Tyranosaurus Rex. These days he responds with roars, not words (even though anybody who spends time with him knows he doesn't have trouble with words) and he is often hunched over with two fingers out and ready to attack at any given moment. When you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he responds simply: "Just a Dinosaur." He walked almost the entire day at Disneyland with only those fingers out, which I have to say is serious dedication.

And with that kind of commitment, who knows... maybe he will be a Dinosaur when he grows up!

I think I should re-name this blog title to read: "Hey, how stupid am I!"

Bedroom door

I just had the most random realization ever. I was telling a story about my tender youth, when I pointed out a small meaningless detail about how I used to make sure my door was shut every time I left my room. For some reason I felt that would deter my sisters from going in and stealing my stuff. I don't know why shutting the door was going to stop them because...

they figured out how to open doors!!!

Anyway, I just got why that was a stupid concern.

Meanwhile...

One day my little baby twin brothers grew up and got called to serve missions to (coincidentally the same country where my husband and one of my brothers-in-law served.) THE PHILIPPINES!

I look at pictures of my husband there and think "That must have been crazy." and then I picture my brothers going there and think "NO WAY! THEY ARE JUST LITTLE BABIES!!!! they can't go all the way out there all by themselves! Who will babysit them? Who will help them brush their teeth? Who will make sure they're eating? Who will read them bedtime stories????" These are real questions people!!! I remember when I thought missionary's were SO old, and now I see that they are just babies pretending to be grown ups! I know they'll be fine, they do take care of themselves (kind of). And I guess should the occasion arise, they are now old enough to scrub their own poop off the walls. (though, I think I speak for everyone when I say: lets hope that situation never comes along!) Still, its just so mind blowing! (Look at the pieces of my brain scattered all over the walls) I'm trying to not even think about how I will take it when they get married or even *gasp* have babies of their own!!!! No way universe, that would just be too weird.

Our wedding 2004

Brittni's wedding 2010

GOOD LUCK TWIDS!!!

Sleep Deprivation

So the other day, as I was putting on my makeup, I leaned into the mirror to finnish rubbing my foundation in when I saw this awful dark spot on my face. I rubbed and rubbed but it would not budge! I leaned away from the mirror, leaned back in and realized... it was my mole.

In the mean time I keep trying to shut the sliding closet door by pushing the "automatic button" on the wall (though Toyota does actually make such a button for their sliding doors, it turns out walls don't come with automatic buttons. Go figure!)

Motherhood should have a warning label:

WARNING! Motherhood WILL kill brain cells, proceed with caution! (no refunds or exchanges )

Elliott trying to get some candy...

Elliott: "Mama, I need some candy hearts"

Me: "I don't think so dude"

Elliott: "But mama, I NEED them"

Me: "Oh you need them huh?"

Elliott: "Yeah, they are sayin' to me: "Elliott, we want to go to the party in your tummy!"

Me: "Thats what they're saying?"

Elliott: "Yeah, so can you just get them down for me?"

Elliott antics

Elliott yelling across the room while I am sitting right next to him:

"Hey, girl! Push the circle button on the TV to turn it on, tip toe so Mama doesn't hear you! Hurry push the button, don't tell Mama!!"

(I had told him absolutely NO TV during dinner)

To my sister...

So, I called my Sister to ask what size dress we would be needing for one of her bridesmaids, I asked her to describe this bridesmaids size to me so that I could help her better decide what size we would be needing to order her dress in.

She then said: "Well, she looks like... what you used to look like"

To my sister I would like to say: What am I now, the pillsbury dough boy???!!!! the marshmellow man???!!! Why don't I come sit on you so you can better gauge my weight to the skinniness of yesteryear. Perhaps while I'm there I could eat your face since I can't, in my fatness contain my hunger. Maybe I will squish your head like a grape since in ratio to my hugeness your head would seem as such to me.

To my sister I would like to say: This body is the battle field of my three legacies! This body has track marks of 17 months of carrying precious cargo and 22 hours of labor. This body has seen its share and tracks of motherhood!

Also... it has seen lots of yummy things to eat... maybe donuts and cakes and pies and ice cream and steaks and mashed potatoes and burritos and burgers.... the list could go on forever! the list of things that make life WORTH LIVING!!!

THESE ARE MY TRACK MARKS! Maybe "used to" is worth leaving behind and maybe my Legacies are worth the battle scars I have for bringing them here.

To my sister I would like to say: I still don't appreciate you saying "She looks like... what you used to look like."

P.S. Love ya!

Elliott:

"Mama, Your tall! Mama, Your so big!"

Life in the ____ Lane

Wow! These last few months nearly killed me! Or maybe I did die and i'm coming to you from the after life... even though I'm pretty sure they don't have computers in heaven (which is of course where I would be... right?) So I'm not dead (however it may feel some days) and i can't believe August is already gone and September is quickly diminishing. Sad, So very sad. I'll try to recap from where I left off in the last post so you can get a glimps of hell... wait did I just say I came from heaven? scratch that and lets review:

August

Oh August. What to say about you? You've been busy and I'm not gonna lie, a little irritating. But somehow we made it through your  chaos and sailed on through to another month leaving you blissfully, in the past. 

The beginning of August held an unfortunate snag when as you may have previously seen, Jesse lost his job. Idearc (my arch nemisis' if you will) Laid off my husband for the second time. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice... you know. Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnddd BAM! unemployed... again. I won't say there weren't times I enjoyed having Jesse home though... or that there were times I hated having him home. I will say however that I think its about time that we started some kind of Emergency savings account, cause if there's one thing I've learned from all this its that life is nothing if not unpredictable. (You sneaky life, you) 

I'll fill you in on the weeks that ensued breaking it down by person so I don't feel overwhelmed

Me

In the midst of all this wonderful drama I turned 26!

 I don't feel any different though, except maybe I have a few more grey hairs, which could of course be accredited to my three very active children, and not age. 

I had a pretty great birthday: First we went to Disneyland with my "Free entrance on your Birthday" ticket (putting my free entrance towards the cost of a year pass, at last!) Then with the rest of my birthday money (and a slight addition to our mountain of debt) Jesse and I were pass wielding rockstars! 

It was good to feel like a kid again and at the same time be kid-less :) 

The next day Jessica and Garrett came to help continue the celebration with one great day of fun. Huntington and the wedge were beautiful! I had never been on a four person bike/flinstone car before and it was a blast!

After our hard but fun pedaling day they took us to dinner at red robin and before we headed home we took a short hike to a pirate cave. We had so much fun!

Jesse

On the 4th of September Jesse landed a job with Staples business devision. He deals with business' directly and helps them order whatever office supplies they need. So far he likes it a LOT more than his last job and is fitting in nicely with all the new kids. He went a little crazy without a job for that month (exactly 1 month to the day that he got laid off, he got hired by Staples) but he really enjoyed spending so much time with the kids (even though he grossly underestimated the chaos of life at home all day, every day) We liked having him home but we are very happy to have an income again!

Elliott

Crazier than ever, Seriously! I think he is reaching the peak of his "terrible two" stage. Lately it hasn't just been "no" its been "NO!" He is way too opinionated for a two year old and is as always insanely stubborn, not sure who he got that from...

He got to go to Disneyland for his very first time in August. First for the Main street electrical parade 

And then he got to spend a whole day there with Mommy and Daddy all by himself

 (no pesky sisters)

 I think he was a little awed by the whole thing, he didn't smile much just spent the whole day studying everything. The only time he showed emotion was when he saw Ka-chow and Maner in the pixar parade (Lightning McQueen and Mater) Nemo on the submarine, Dinosaurs on the train and the Jungle cruise. He managed to hide his face through the majority of Pirates so I'm not sure what his facial expression was. But he's asked to go every day since so he must have liked it.

(This is the face he made all day)

We've also been working at potty training and he is doing really well, though he isn't quite there yet. As a reward we got him some underwear we knew he would be excited to wear and he just can't stop admiring himself in them. It's pretty funny.

Sofia & Scarlet 

We found out this summer that our little girls LOVE the pool/any form of water 

(as long as it acomidates plenty of splashing)

Ruthie

Sofie

They also visited Disneyland for the first time in August

(It was a lot of work)

Sofie
Ruthie

And they started eating regular food the beginning of this month. A big moment for Mommy and Daddy! (No more formula!!!)

(Ruthie is always stealing food from Sofia)

Well that about wraps it up for this Re-cap on life. I'll try to keep in touch better next time blog, I miss you when I'm gone.

Thank goodness for husbands!

Otherwise I'm pretty sure I would die of boredom! If I didn't have my sweet un-employed husband around to watch the kids for me while I ran my errands then I never would have come home and seen a relatively large dark spot in the middle of Elliott's bedroom carpet, I never would have asked "hey Jess, what's this?" and he never would have answered "oh... Elliott had a little poop accident while you were gone, but I took care of it" and I never would have looked a little closer and asked again "what did you use to clean it up?" and he never would have replied with this gem: "Um... water and cleaner." 

Me: "what cleaner?" 

Jesse: "well... I put some water on it and... some Windex." 

Me: "wait, wait, wait, you put Windex on it?" 

"Yeah, It said: "Multi purpose" on the bottle!" 

Its endearing, I think. Husbands can be so cute sometimes!

Dear Idearc,

Please stop sending my husband home in the 

middle of the day without a job!

Back then...

Jesse and I in our younger days. Of course back then it was common for younger men to marry much older women, though we were both still very young. I was working as a bookkeeper making 25 cents an hour and Jesse cleaned carburetors for $9 a day, at least until Grandpa Merve died, then he went back to Iowa to tend the farm and look after grandma. He sent for me in the spring of 53' and we were married that summer. Our small backyard wedding was beautiful! Of course all our pictures are stowed carefully away in my memory thanks to the fire of 62' lost everything. But grew closer through the trials we faced... and we faced our share! You know, we used to walk up hill both ways BAREFOOT through the snow just to get to town so the children wouldn't starve! Good memories though! That ol' windbag is the love of my life!

Picture Update:

As most of you know I take billions of pictures, I can't really help it when I have the most adorable kids ever! I know, everyone says that. But as you can clearly see from these photos I actually do! Anyway I get in trouble a lot for not posting more pictures so I'm here to give you a delightful treat with a visual update of my beautiful family.

                                                                 June - July

We found a lizard in the house and put it in a jar for Elliott to look at he loved it so much that he named it Gabe (he must remember his cousin :)

   Briana likes to take B & W pictures of the kids, these are two of my favorites

                                                                                 Ruthie

                                                                               Sofie

I don't really know why, but they crawl all over each other. This was taken right after a nap and as you can see they were very happy to see me.

                                                                     

                                                            Swimming 

                                                                 Ruthie

Elliott LOVES to swim and ever since he discovered floaties we cant keep him out of the water

                                                               

                                          Concert in the park

  We had a lot of fun! Sofie and Elliott danced it up (Yes Sofie dances it is so adorable!!!)

                                                                                                                            Sofie

                                                      My boys being hilarious

As you can see Sofie gets a big goofy grin when she sees the camera its super cute!

 Ruth doesn't always smile for the camera, She's serious but so adorable! 

                                                        He is his fathers son

Just playing

It almost makes me cry they are so cute!

Alright I'm out, More updates soon!

Today's To Do List:

1. Strangle the husband.

2. Sell the children.

3. Dispose of the evidence.